breakfast?

Beads.

Aren't they so shiny and wonderful?

No one knows my wants and needs like me (be mine?).

[winking at myself in the mirror]

cheers, sexy

Clever people make me smile. And Etsy seller, YellowBugBoutique in Plano, TX is damn clever.

If you want to tell your honey that he/she's hotter than a curing kiln, but you can't quite bring yourself to buy something frilly, here's an option that lets you be a romancer and realist at the same time. Just drop a bottle of your favorite fermented grapes in this bag and stand by for fireworks.

and it was all yellow

When life

gives you lemons,

squeeze them in

someone's eye

and haul ass.

deal-breaker

It's February. Translation: Time for the endless bombardment of Kay Jewelers-like commercials.

I do not have a significant other. But if I did have one and he decided it would be a fine idea to purchase for me a Pajamagram or a Vermont Teddy Bear ...

... he would receive the evil eye.

Seriously. Seriously? Who buys these?

I'd rather receive a dozen red carnations, "accented" with baby's breath from the grocery store.

They say where gifts are concerned, it's the thought that counts. When it comes to a Pajamagram or a Vermont Teddy Bear, that platitude does not apply.