flats-out awful

I'm going to be thrilled when this pesky trend of totally flat shoes dies a quick death. Flats are in every magazine. They're what all the cool feet are wearing. Simply put, they are the current "must-haves" of the fashion world.

Thanks, but no thanks. I confess that my 5'2" body appreciates the extra height that heels provide; but flat shoes can't offer the confidence factor that a killer pair of wedges does. If clothes could talk, what would a powder pink pair of demure ballet flats say[whisper]? Exactly.

I don't feel girlie without heels. Not PC? Sue me. I understand that flats can be more practical ... but who wants that? And they're uncomfortable--like walking directly on an asphalt parking lot. I don't care how fashionable flat shoes are--I refuse to cave. They're ugly. Give me a gloriously sexy, strappy pair of platforms any day. A little quiz, to illustrate my point:

Which Kate Spade shoe would you rather have?

The Felice?
Or the Guest?
And how about these Tory Burch options ...

The Lawrence Tassle Moccasin?or the Kimber Sandal?Stuart Weitzman ...

Stringalongs? or Missjane?Jessica Simpson's shoes are precious.

But you can have the Leve.
I'll take the Amithist.
Your Honor, I rest my case.